Thanksgiving Just Ain’t the Same Anymore

Thanksgiving is not the same—and honestly, it hasn’t been for a long time.

When I was a child, Thanksgiving meant piling into the car, dressed in our Sunday’s Best, with a tray of mac and cheese riding in my lap. We’d head to my grandmother’s house where the whole family gathered under one roof. Chaos, laughter, cousins running around, somebody getting fussed at, and the smell of greens and cornbread warming the whole house. Those were the Thanksgivings that felt full—full of food, full of people, full of love.

Things changed for me after I joined the Navy. Thanksgiving became something I watched from a distance. I’d be standing watch in my working uniform, eating a meal cooked by the CS, doing my job while my family was back home continuing the traditions without me. I told myself it didn’t matter, that service came first, but part of me missed the warmth of those crowded rooms.

Then everything really changed after my grandmother passed away. It was like the glue that held us all together disappeared. Thanksgiving shifted for everyone. Now, some of us celebrate with friends, some don’t celebrate at all, and everybody seems to be trying to figure out new traditions—or deciding they don’t have the energy to try anymore. It’s a strange thing to watch… how a holiday that used to be automatic now requires effort, coordination, and sometimes even emotional negotiation.

But this past Thanksgiving?

It surprised me.

Instead of a big family gathering or a planned dinner, I found myself sitting in a jacuzzi in Riverside with a man I hadn’t seen in over fifteen years. Life be life-ing, and somehow the universe placed me in a moment I didn’t expect—still warm, still meaningful, still human. Not traditional, not planned, but peaceful in its own way..

And maybe that’s where I’m at now: learning to let Thanksgiving be whatever it needs to be each year. Sometimes it’s family. Sometimes it’s friends. Sometimes it’s quiet. Sometimes it’s a random reconnection in a hot tub. The traditions may not be the same, but the heart of the holiday—gratitude, presence, reflection—can still show up, even in the most unexpected places.

Maybe Thanksgiving hasn’t changed.

Maybe I have.

And maybe… that’s okay.